Never felt right
by Fate4Destiny
Summary: Renji wants his captain, but Byakuya doesn't return the love. you can probably guess the rest, but I have a twsit at the end you'll never see coming. Renji x Byakuya, Byakuya x Isane hints, etc , Rukia x Renji hints
1. Chapter 1

Renji had a few things he never dared think about. The only times he did was when his captain was gone from the sixth division, he was in a locked room, and underneath his blankets. And even then, he could feel Byakuya's glare send shivers down his spine. But damn, that stare was so edible. And so he thought about that. His captain was delicious, anybody in the Gotei 13 could tell you that. His stare, his smooth movements, his flawless skin, Renji knew he wasn't the only one having those thoughts. But maybe the only guy.

That was one of the reasons Renji never said anything besides for the fact Byakuya would bankai him for even getting thought about. Byakuya only showed his love once. It was to a women. To Byakuya, he could never be an option. To Renji, Byakuya was the only he craved.

He went to bed underneath the covers, knowing his thoughts could be the death of him.

~

Renji walked outside to the training room after not being able to sleep. It was late, too late for anyone to be there. Maybe he could clear his head without worry of getting injured or being seen.

He slowly entered the building and saw someone darting around. There was no spiritual pressure to be felt and the sharp sound of a blade being swung against targets. It made flashes of silver as its wielder went through a series of impossible looking flips and moves. Renji tried to figure out who it was, and luckily was oblivious in the shadow's mind.

The shadow stopped moving and then cast their shirt off. On the dim light Renji saw pale skin covered in sweat. The person twirled their zanpakutou to get it back in a proper grip then shot forward at an imaginable target. They continued to fight multiple invisible targets as Renji took another step in. He stood in the shadows at a corner of the training room and continued to watch. He was truly impressed by the skills shows, most of the moves were ones he never saw before but looked perfectly skilled and clearly greatly practiced.

"Sebonza-"

Before the name could be finished by the man cast in shadows, Renji gave a loud gasp. He knew who he was watching at that moment. His captain.

Byakuya looked towards Renji as if he could see through the shadows. Byakuya then went and put on his shirt. He sheathed his zanpakutou and walked out of the training room without a word, his spiritual pressure thickly condensed around him. The moment he left Renji gave a small gulp and leaned against the wall. He slowly slid down until he was sitting on the ground. He then rested his head on a knee. If he was scared then of Byakuya knowing something, he was in a death shock now. He began to dread seeing Byakuya in light.


	2. Chapter 2

Renji slowly walked around the sixth's division office. He couldn't face his captain. His captain was already inside when he arrived. Renji also knew Byakuya could feel his spiritual pressure, the man was a captain after all. Renji gave another gulp and started wringing his hands together. What would he say? Should he say anything? Maybe he should just forget the night before. But then he should have gone in the office first thing instead of waiting.

Renji decided to pace around a bit more. Just to see how long he could get away with it. He wouldn't be able to face his captain anyways and focus, not like he usually did. He concluded Byakuya would be happier with him out of the way. Hire surely he had nerves and Renji was annoying them?

Renji couldn't stop thinking of the possibilities as an image flashed into his head. Byakuya's bare chest with the sweat dropping from each muscle. Renji caught himself subconsciously licking his lower lip. He scorned himself in his head before standing in front of the door. He gathered up courage but that flew away at another thought. What if Byakuya knew about his attraction?

Renji was growing in thought when he heard a light voice speak.

"Good morning, Abarai Fukutaichou."

Renji looked sideways to see Isane. Isane gave Renji a light smile which he couldn't return at the moment. He was to nervous.

"Abarai, would you mind letting me enter? I have a letter for Kuchiki taichou."  
"uh, sure."

Renji sidestepped and then took another one do Byakuya wouldn't see him when Isane opened a door.

"Thank you. It shouldn't take too much time."

Isane knocked on the door and it was opened by Byakuya himself. He held it open for Isane, expecting her, then shot a cold stare at Renji. Renji had the sinking feeling it was the only reason his captain opened the door himself, to stare his lieutenant down.

The door soon closed and Renji leaned against a wall and staid outside. After all, he had no need to be inside. He heard a female gasp and he slowly inched towards the door. He then listened closely, hearing Isane first.

"I'm sorry, it was an accident-"

"It's fine."

"But it probably hurts and maybe I shouldn't be doing this."

"If your captain trusts you to do this, then so do I. It's probably just nerves from doing it the first time."

"I've done it before. But with people, um, younger for a lack of a better term."

"Just try again. This time, aim carefully. I'm not just some doll to experiment on."

Renji's eyes went wide as he heard that conversation. What were they doing? His mind was racing with disturbing thoughts and pictures in his head. Isane and his captain? Well, maybe Isane could fit the criteria, being sweet and kind like Byakuya's past wife, but who saw that coming? Definitely not Renji.

Renji heard a small cry from Byakuya and he felt his heart stop at it. That was the first time he heard his captain cry out. What were they doing? Once again, Isane's rushed voice came in, apologizing.

"Sorry, that was- I'm so sorry. Here, I'll stop the-"

"Perhaps you should return to the fourth and we'll continue when we are done our work."

"Are you sure you want me to keep trying?"

"You may as well. I'll be yours to use until you've mastered it. A promise for the fourth and a loyal fukutaichou of the Goeti 13."

"um, I'm not sure if I'm the bet example for being a loyal fuku-"

"It could have been worse. You put in effort and almost hit the right spot. It's just a little blood."

"It doesn't seem like a little blood. I'll help clean it up-"

"Clean up yourself and I can do the same for myself."

Byakuya's voice had a final tone to it and Renji's breathing was hitched. What did Byakuya mean about being Isane's until she mastered it? Did his captain already have someone?

Renji felt his heart slow it beating to a slow and shocked rate. He felt his fingertips tingle and his breathing became agitated. After a few moments he heard the door open. He saw Isane walk out with a faint blush. She looked at him then quickly walked away, keeping silent.

Renji pushed his fear away and looked to make sure his captain was alright. He saw Byakuya fixing his short around his shoulders and neck.

"Have you decided to work today finally? Or will you continue to pace around outside like an outcast dog. If so, I will kick you out of this office for the day."

Renji said nothing for a moment then spoke out in a hurried tone, as of afraid his voice would fail him.

"But you wanted to be alone with Kotetsu fukutaichou anyways."

"That may be correct, only because she was nervous for being so new to it. Now, please get to work or get out."

Renji was in shock as his captain basically admitted to it. Byakuya made a motion for Renji to leave and Renji nimbly did so. He heard the door close behind him and he continued his numb steps. He went outside then sat down against a wall. Usually he would enjoy his time off, but today he was upset. He seriously liked Byakuya, if not love, but he was taken. After all the years Renji assumed Byakuya was alone, Byakuya had been confessing his love to someone else. And someone Renji could never ask to fight with, no less.


	3. Chapter 3

An hour later Renji was still against the wall as he caught sight of Isane. He slowly got to his feet and then jumped on a building. He was perched on the roof and saw that Isane was walking with Unohana, listening to their conversation without making a sound.

"Isane, how did it go with Kuchiki Taichou?"

"I didn't hit the right spot. I was so sure I would. But he's so stiff, it's hard to get him to relax properly."

"That's sometimes a problem we must fix or overcome. Some ask for us when they are facing emotions which make them relaxing impossible without some help. Do you need more practice?"

"No. I think if I calm down, I can do it. I've managed it before, I just really didn't want to harm a captain in any way. He said I could try again after work, and if you would dismiss me for an hour or so, I would like to take up that offer."

Unohana fell silent for a brief moment then nodded.

"Very well. But if you still can't work with him, I could talk Ukitake taichou into helping you."

"I hope it won't come to that. But if so, thank you for that offer."

"Perhaps you should thank Ukitake when that time comes."

"I will."

Unohana gave a soft smile on return as they turned a corner and were out of Renji's eyesight. Renji let his head drop. So she was going to mess around with Ukitake to? Was that considered cheating on his captain or not? Byakuya never mentioned dating her, more like being her plaything.

The thoughts made Renji sick as he fell to his knees with his head in his hands. He would just have to find out the rest from later. He decided he would follow Isane and listen in to her, uh, meeting, with Byakuya.


	4. Chapter 4

Renji had already seen his captain enter his room. It won him quite a few glares even though he was outside and a great distance away. Byakuya was a master not to be played with. And yet, Isane was given free permission to practice on him as much as she liked. Renji felt slightly jealous as he heard footsteps.

He saw Isane walking and the entering Byakuya's room. Renji skunk towards the window then sat down underneath the window, listening to all he could.

He heard the door close then someone sitting on the bed.

"Come here, Isane, I won't bite."

Renji felt blood rush to his ears as Isane gave a small laugh. He heard softer footsteps which he judged to be Isane's.

"shirt on or off?"

Byakuya sounded serious and Renji cringed. Were they going to go all the way?

"off."

Renji heard some movement and then someone else going on the bed. He heard nothing then the smallest whimper broke through Byakuya's lips. He recognized his captain's deep tone of voice then heard Isane whisper a few things. There was more silence but the occasional shift. He then heard a groan and Renji closed his eyes for a brief moment. The surroundings became blurry around him as he leaned his head back against the wall below the window again.

There was another cry then he heard Isane shushing Byakuya. He heard more shifting and the next small cry was muffled into the pillow.

"Did I get it that time?"

"Deeper, it didn't penetrate."

Renji heard a frustrated sigh from his captain and Renji could only visualize what was happening in that room all too clearly.

There another groan and he then heard Isane's disapproving voice.

"It would be a lot easier if you relaxed."

"What part of this situation is relaxing?"

"Turn around and keep quiet."

Renji heard them shift then the most blissful moan escape from Byakuya's lips. It couldn't and he heard Byakuya murmur something, his voice shaking with pure delight. After a few moments there was a constant purring in Byakuya's deep voice and a light slap. Isane gave a laugh and Byakuya gave his own chuckle.

"Why are you so hard to please then overreact, Kuchiki taichou?"

"It's in my nature. Could you go back to that?"

"Of course."

There was another laugh then a needy moan from Byakuya. Renji couldn't help it, he had to see his crush with someone else to prove it.

"Agh! Isane, hands up, no, Isane!"

Byakuya shouted out loudly and Renji was slightly scared by the harshness. Renji quickly fell back underneath the window, Byakuya seemed upset enough to bankai anybody close at that point.

"Kuchiki, it's not that bad."

"Speak for yourself. I have limits."

"You have issues which need to be overcome."

"Isane, trust me. There are some places you cannot touch so freely."

"Shush."

Byakuya gave a moan and Renji heard more shifting noises. It was joined by Byakuya's breathless panting and the sound of the bed moving slightly. Renji felt his veins burn as if they were filled with fire when he poked his head up. He saw his captain laying on a bed with his shirt off and his sash gone. His pants were just on and he didn't notice Renji. Isane had on leg on either side of him, her hands drifting lower each moment, not stopping once they went below his pants. Byakuya have another moan and Renji couldn't stand it anymore. It was just too taunting. He had to either leave or confess. Anybody would have left, but Renji was slightly lacking in that common sense.

Renji leaped through the window as Byakuya have a ear-splitting cry. Renji landed and watched his captain break out in a cold sweat and arch backwards. Byakuya began murmuring things Renji couldn't understand with a voice filled with pleasure. Isane gave another laugh, understanding the words.

"Isane, I'm your doll then. I get what you're trying to prove. Please, you have to leave me alone there. I'm serious now."

Byakuya's voice didn't sound close to serious as he heard a footstep with his sharp hearing. He sat up in a split second, one hand on his zanpakutou, another holding Isane to his chest in a protective grip.

When Byakuya noticed Renji his grip on his zanpakutou softened slightly, but didn't go away completely. He still had it pointed to Renji, waiting for an explanation. Renji stuttered slightly before speaking what he considered a decent lie.

"I was walking by and heard your screams, so I came to make sure you were alright, taichou. I had no idea what you were doing, I was merely concerned."

"I can take care of myself. And if there was such an opponent that I screamed because of, you wouldn't be of any help."

"Then what was I supposed to do?"

Byakuya said nothing and looked down at Isane.

"Leave, Abarai, and we'll speak tomorrow."

"No. I want to know if you two are a couple or not."

Byakuya said nothing then a smile broke through his lips, finding amusement in the situation.

"I think I finally pieced it together, Abarai. You believed Isane and I were making love."

Isane gave a feverish blush and tried to shake loose. Byakuya held her still and eventually Isane tested her head against his chest again.

"So you're denying it?"

"I would never make love when I know it would hurt my fukutaichou so much. I'm not blind, Abarai. I merely don't want to act upon it. I'm not interested in you. But since you are so sure that was because I was with Isane, I'll explain that to you. Isane was practicing giving needles and Unohana spoke me into being practice. After that, Isane decided to attempt to make me relax. It worked better than anticipated. As for the area I said not to touch, it would be this."

Byakuya sheathed his zanpakutou and let go of Isane. He got off the bed then lowered his pants slightly. He spun around to show his entire lower back was heavily scared.

"There are only a few people who have seen this. Unohana, my late wife, just currently Isane, and now you."

"Tai- taichou, how did that happen?"

Byakuya said nothing as he sat down on the bed. Isane kneeled politely on the center of the bed. A safe distance from Byakuya.

"Childhood. Sebonzakura. My captain before I became one. Each scar or wound is a show of every time I have ever failed or came anything less of perfect."

"But, people make mistakes. You can't hurt yourself over it."

"But I can, Abarai. And I wouldn't expect you to understand. Nobody does. I'm not supposed to fail, it's as simple as that. If I am a captain with no one to scorn me for my failures, I must do it myself. Sometimes I let Sebonzakura do it or someone else. I've fought only to make sure I get cut on my lower back. I can't see how many I have, but I can feel them. Each day, each minute. And I shall never use Kidou on them or let them heal. Each month I break them open again and sit with the pain. Abarai, there is much nobody knows about he and that will be buried in my grave with me upon my death. I have my ways, I have my customs, and I have the weight on my shoulders which I must find a way for me to lift without any motivation but the ones I create."

Renji stood on shock. He didn't know what to do. To cry that Byakuya didn't love him, or to say something about the scars. He decided to do something which would involve both.

Renji sunk to his knees and bowed his head against the ground. He heard footsteps then saw Byakuya's bare feet in front of him.

"What are you tying to achieve, Abarai. I am not interested in your love. Nor will I tease or humor you."

"But- but why not? Do you not like me? Or the fact that I'm a guy-"

"I have five cuts relating to you. One would be to never fall down to someone's level. Another is to never allow personal emotions to change an order. Another is that the rules must go over everything. I have one on my back for thinking about someone in such terms. The last one that relates to you would be a cut which signifies not to hurt Rukia in any ways I can help."

"How is Rukia related to this?"

"The same reason why you're my lieutenant. To make her happy. To give her a friend, someone to play with, and so on. I had better options than you, but I decided to make sure Rukia had a childhood friend in an easy reach. In my mind, you are hers. And I shall not argue with that."

A tear fell from Renji's eye as he staid on the floor.

"So you don't even like me as your fukutaichou? And since when do you care for Rukia? If you did, you'd stop being a prick and talk to her once in awhile."

Renji stood up and continued on in his rant. Isane subconsciously out up a light Kidou barrier, a hand on her zanpakutou just in case for defence. Byakuya didn't move as Renji came up right next to him and began shouting.

"You're just a motherfuckin ass who doesn't give a shit about anybody but you're own stupid, obnoxious, ugly self."

Byakuya looked sideways at Renji without so much as a blink. Byakuya seemed bored as Renji was still high on anger.

"I don't even know why I respect you! You just let everybody die. You don't even care about anybody! You're a pain in the ass and if anybody showed you the slightest bit of love then they deserve to be killed. Because they're just that messed up!"

Byakuya continued to be looking bored though his heart ached. He wanted to defend some names so well. To fight for his late wife, his sister, and Isane.

Byakuya crawled over the bed to where Isane was silently crying. Byakuya took her in his grip and let her rest against his body. He took a blanket and passed it over, wrapping her up like a small child getting a nap.

Renji said nothing as he realized he insulted Isane. He never meant to, he was just upset. Byakuya was still one step ahead. Byakuya laid Isane down to get some rest and makes sure she was settled in.

"Go to sleep. I'll clear this all up and tell Unohana."

Byakuya then did something which even surprised Isane at that point. He bowed his head and lightly kissed the back of her head, whispering into it. Isane didn't move but didn't look at him either.

Byakuya then stood up and picked up his captain's haori and zanpakutou. He slipped on his shoes and made a motion for Renji to follow. Renji stood up and followed, keeping his head bowed. Once outside Byakuya closed the door before speaking.

"You knew I screamed. So why did you come? I know when you're lying, Abarai. I'm not blind."

Renji shot his head up and felt the anger swarm through his body again.

"Then you obviously aren't looking in the right direction."

Byakuya gave a small sigh and looked away and down the hall.

"I believed you knew me more than that. I know what you will say. That you want to make me yours. And I have to deny. My pride comes in the way and you should know that. If you don't, it's a sign that nothing would work between us if given the option."

"How can you be so damn god calm? I love you and you don't even care because I'm a guy-"

Byakuya looked at Renji then slowly shook his head.

"I made myself promises which I intend to keep. I don't love you like that. But someone else does."

"I don't care-"

"But you will. You can never truly ignore love. If so, I would never have married."

Byakuya took a step towards Renji and then another. Byakuya's chest pressd against Renji's and Byakuya cupped Renji's quivering chin. Byakuya bowed his head and lightly kissed him below his lower lip. Renji was shocked then put his hands firmly behind his captain's head. He pulled him up slightly for a messy kiss. Renji broke through Byakuya's lips and explored his captain with his tongue. Byakuya let Renji do as he pleased as he put both hands on the wall to make sure he didn't come too close.

After awhile Renji pulled his mouth away, panting from lack of air. Byakuya still looked emotionless as Renji's chest rose and dropped quickly at each pant.

"Why didn't you kiss back? You kissed first."

Byakuya didn't say anything and kissed Renji"s cheek this time.

"You'll never understand, Abarai. I don't love you."

"Then why are you kissing me?"

"To make you happy."

Byakuya trailed his kissing lower until he began to nibble at the top of Renji's neck. Renji gave a small groan as Byakuya continued as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Not a speck of emotion was being shown from the captain and Renji wondered how Isane got him screaming. it seemed impossible at the moment.

"Besides, you don't taste that bad. I don't half mind thus. Of course, if you tell somebody, I'll cut you up. Understood?"

"The cutting part, yes, taichou. But I taste good?"

Byakuya gave a small chuckle into Renji's red and wet skin.

"Why else would I be doing this?"

"Um, to make me happy."

"Then what's the other reason to kiss somebody?"

Renji thought for a moemnt before answering.

"Most people use it to feel pleasure."

"Most people don't have you."

With that Byakuya gave a soft bite on Renji's skin. Renji fell into Byakuya's arms and gave another whimper.

"Tai- Taichou, please have me."

Renji looked up at Byakuya and Byakuya stared back. He then crouched donw and softly put Renji against a wall.

"Please try to contain yourself. We're merely co-workers."

"But you kissed me-"

"It didn't mean what you thought it meant-"

"But you still-"

"Abrai!"

Byakuya snapped his name and Renji fell quiet. Byakuya gave a small sigh before continuing.

"Why don't I make you a promise. I'll be yours if you date the one who loves you for a full year. The day before the anniversary, you may have me. A favor that I owe someone."

"But who likes me then? Is it a guy? A girl?"

Byakuya lifted his shirt then traced another scar. The one he had associated with Rukia.

"A big brother shouldn't mess with his little sister's _things, _should he know?"

Byakuya let a smirk go on his lips as Renji became flushed. Byakuya then walked down the hallway and out of sight, his lieutenant on his knees and panting behind him.

~ I never wanted Renji to get Byakuya. *pounces Byakuya*

I don't think Bya is the type who'll admit love sp freely, yet this site says otherwise and so do some of my stories. I know some of you hate it because Bya could have given it to Renji against that wall. Others are probably thinking I should have made a scene with Bya and Isane. But I like it better this way. After all, Rukia x Renji is a cute couple, and Bya did promise to 'do' him later.

Though if I was in renji's position, let's just say there would have been lots of lemon. *nods while still holding onto Byakuya*

Comment, even if it's to say there should have been lemon

*sigh*


End file.
